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bigksmooth47k
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Name: Kyle
State: Florida
Metro: Daytona Beach
Birthday: 12/27/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: I like moonlight strolls in the park, girls are usually pretty interesting as long as they are as out of their mind as I am and have the capacity to listen to my ramblings at times. I also enjoy considering the ways of the usiverse, alternate sources of energy, and who God is and how he relates ot us on this earth. Who says I shouldn't have a xanga, this is sweet!
Expertise: I have plenty of expertise, Im a psych. major, and I know some things about that junk, but thats just easy stuff. I know things about the bible. I know some things about technology, but my computer still kicks my butt. umm, I won't continue on this stuff Im not any good at boasting, just read the things I say and make up something I am an ezpert at and you will be happy with the way you think about me.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
5/28/2005
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Lord, give me the words….
The consuming fire in me is not
just a passion or a simple drive, but a state of being. I can feel the fire
burn in my blood that was given to Christ as my sacrifice, for I have had
nothing more to give. Gracefully the Lord did not lay my sacrifice on the alter
to be destroyed, just to burn. Because He has consumed the alter in His own
sacrifice so that He could be the alter that we come to for forgiveness and
transformation, I did not have to die for my sins. To maintain a relationship
with God I need to know His sacrificial lamb and to know what Jesus gave on the
cross to the fullest degree that I can while on this earth. The means by which
the Lord is showing me what He gave on the cross is found in His allowance of
my seeing into those to whom I speak about God and His glory. He opens the hearts
of men so that I can be shown all that is there, God’s glory and their personal
suffering all at the same time. Standing in front of a group of people is no
different as I see through the eyes of my heart; the closer I stand in the
midst of the Lord the more my eyes are opened to the bleeding hearts of the
needy and the plight of the self-righteous and rich.
The same burning that produces a
humble and mourning spirit bound to the alter, in understanding of what Christ
gave, also produces something else. Not only do I take part in the suffering of
others but I protect and serve them. Standing before them, God chooses to wrap
Himself around those who will hear me and follow Him as a pillar of fire. All
of those who will pass through the fire may enter the kingdom and all those who
will not, will be destroyed on their day of judgment, for they would rather
burn in life and continue burning in death for their sins than rejoice and live
in the fire that would burn away the old and establish the new. If we live, we
live in fire. All who walk this earth, dead or alive, burn for their own
plight… Christ alone has claim on burning for the plight of others. All those
who walk in life are subject to Christ and His death and burn for Him in
submission and peace, for they understand His will that they might be made
perfect in His love. Those who walk in death are subject to the burning of
desires outside of God and find the glory of His pillar to be the hottest flame
of all for they have retreated to the coldest and darkest corners of the world
to avoid the Lord’s flame; these people burn on the fuel of their lust.
Those who suffer the name of Christ
burn by the all-consuming and hottest flame of God that is always hot, produce
peace in those who will receive Him and fuel the fire of those who will not.
Christians are persecuted for the fire that burns in them. People who will not
receive Christ will fight to extinguish the light of God’s fire until their end
because they are slaves to sin and can do nothing else. Satan’s goal is to
control and destroy all those who burn in Christ by any means. Satan is only
able to control as we give in to the lusts of this world. We are born with our
eyes shut to the light, reacting against it more and more as we partake in this
world outside of God and we are offered more and more of the world as we see it
in the darkness behind our own eyelids. Sin is the tragedy of life, and Satan
is in control of that army of darkness as he leads them further and further
from the pillar of fire that he swears will kill them. The Gospel that we have
to offer will extinguish the lusts and drives of this world and so it burns, it
hurts like nothing else. But it only hurts for as long as we are turned away
from God, walking backwards into the pillar of fire, we must face the truth and
God before we can be saved and enter into His safe place in the midst of the
flames. The truth that Jesus is the Son of God and Christ who was laid on the
alter and sacrificed in our place, who lays claim to Lordship over every one of
our lives. For us to have a relationship with Him we must allow Him His throne
at the center of our lives that we have reserved for our selves previously.
Sitting on the fence of decision is
sitting on the throne of our own hearts, hearing God and not seeking after Him
under His will for our lives. We may be saved by fire with our works that we do
for Christ’s name sake, but that is no way to have a relationship with Him. We may
call out to Christ as Lord but only for the purposes of seeking water when we
feel our depravity rather than turning toward Him to receive what He has to
offer we content in the fringes of his kingdom. We stand in the outermost of
the pillar of fire while being burnt by the hottest flames rather than facing
Him and being healed by the same flame! The need for these individuals is
possibly the greatest need, and the hardest to remedy in the world. For those
called to the pulpit to minister to these, the way in the world is found in
following in Christ’s footsteps. We often scorn these individuals for the way
in which they live without seeing their suffering. While on the inside looking
out, Satan still blinds us to the fact that these are burning in such a way
that they will be destroyed if they do not allow Christ His throne. We think of
them as ignorant and become proud because they sit on the fence and we do not
instead of seeing the peril of sitting on the fence; being afraid of God’s work
in their life and fearing the world and its persecution. These are the
individuals who truly do not belong.
Those of us who find Hope in God
and seek Him, know that we belong to Him even if we feel we are alone with God…
those who are in the world and seek after worldly things are alone in the world
but feel their belonging in the rat race of fame and fortune. But those who
burn by the fringes of the pillar of flame, of God’s kingdom, are the neediest
and those whom we are to minister to first. It’s sad that many of us who call
ourselves Christians still find ourselves scorning the neediest of all who are
being burnt by God’s kingdom as they try to close their eyes to make their way
through the wall of the pillar when all they need to do is look up to see
Christ guiding them. All we must to is loosen the shackles of the world and
show them Christ, constantly pointing toward Him, and we choose instead to
laugh at how stupid they are for not looking up. These are the individuals who
will not reject us as we minister to them.
Soon the fire will separate all of
those who would not receive Christ as Lord and Savior from those who have and
there will no longer be anyone that can maintain a steady hold on the fence.
This means there will be a great falling away of those who did not seek after
God and did not love His people enough to tell them what they needed to hear,
and did not do what God had asked for them to do. The few that will remain will
be the Body of Christ and will be persecuted and will die because they have
followed in Christ’s footsteps until the end and they will be glorified and God
will be glorified in their lives as well as their deaths. And God’s kingdom
will reign amongst those who would burn by the oil of the world, and they will
know the truth and finally reject it for they have been proven of their sins
and will flee from God and will not rejoice in His kingdom.
The remnant that will burn for God
and cleave to Him until the end will be glorified; these make up the Body of
Christ and will receive Christ when He returns. These are triumphant and will
know persecution and suffering for Christ’s name and will know and have a
fantastic relationship with God who will provide for them and strengthen them
unto their time to be joined with Him. Before Christ’s return, there will be
great tribulation, the saints will cry out to God to redeem them from their
longsuffering on this earth and He will answer their cries… but not before many
are allowed to perish and die for their walk with Christ.
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| well I haven't written in some time, so let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I live a laughing paradox, but I think it would have to be considered even more than that... maybe a multidox, lol. it seems that my life contradicts the life of others. lets see if I can explain.
In my life, God does not simply come first, but He is the propriator of my life... He upholds my existence as I rely on Him in such a way that if I were to turn from Him there would be nothing for me. everything that I see in the world, He shows me with His interpretation and meaning, to the extend that I can handle and understand. He does all this because I am His servant and I work in the world for Him and no other. Life for me is really very simple: I live for my God and He works in and through me for His purposes so that I can know Him more fully. 1. my relationship with God comes first in all that I think, say, do, etc. 2. because of my relationship with God, He works through me in the lives of those around me. 3. because of these first two things I am often rejected, no one likes to hear all that I have to say and most times when people find that they are standing in opposition to God they find me on the other side of the fence too and hate me for who sent me. I hear God and do what He says, there is no mediation. most people do not like the idea that God speaks through people in any sort of authority, but really people have to decide on their authorities for themselves so it doesn't bother me when people rise against me much.
so, i end up being hated and dispised by those on the other side of the fence, strengthening those on my side and knocking those sitting on the fence off.
God tells me a lot of things, mostly having to do with the whole of the Body of Christ and why it is heading in the direction that it is. this direction, for those who haven't noticed, is toward it's destruction for the perfection of those who will serve God in the midst of persecution and death. sounds harsh right? I mean, wow... to think, all of the people that live for convenience and settle for the top of the fence will probably never see persecution, there's kindof a lot of sway to retreat in that sort of scheme isn't there? why should any of us believe in a God who would allow these things for His purposes in chastising those who would place their faith in Him? There are lots of these questions that most people have a hard time answering from the fence. it is an awkward position, being on the fence I mean, having to sit up there hoping there will never be another hard fall on one side or the other because commitment is too hard and rejection doesn't seem worth it, I mean what if there really is God right? might as well keep a foot in the door, just in case. there is no life on the fence tho. there is so much more in doing what God asks and not just talking about it, or working out a theology that doesn't really have application.
maybe some of you have worked out the paradox here. I live, but Im persecuted for living. some might say that people are only rejecting God (they could not possibly be rejecting me) and find themselves ironically set apart from Him, not feeling rejected themselves. Although God is truly the one being rejected, it can not be denied that we suffer for His sake. if I represent only God's truth, I am the one persecuted and destroyed for being myself and standing for what I believe in the midst of those who do not, or at very least, those who feel their open sores. All that I really want to do is be there for people and help them through the pain that life offers them, to bandage wounds and feed the hungry. but majority of those who are wounded would rather submerge themselves in the water of the world until they no longer feel anything. I am afraid for those who hate me and run from what I have to say. I often wonder why people have such a hard time finding persecution in America while I can find it on a Christian campus.
life is only promising in God, in being healed and not numbed to feeling. most people don't like it, and have decided that it is not the case in one way or another. when God comes first, there is no denying this and is part of all of our lives. it's not simply mine because God has healed me, but it is mine because I accepted that healing... He offers it to everyone and here I am, still proclaiming it.
I leave the other side of the paradox to you, all of you who know the rest of the world and can clearly see where I stand.
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| I wish that life could be easier and took less patience... I don't know how God waits on us, loving us as much as He would have to from before we cared to know Him. He knows that He has to wait so that we can love Him and have a real relationship with Him rather than overwhelming us all at once with His glory b/c thats just how it works... but I'm not capable of relaxing and waiting for even a moment for the things that God has waited since creation for. UGH! I hate waiting so much, at least I am already gaining a bit of hope that it is all worth it.
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| During the time in which I suffered Lyme's disease and nearly passed on, God gave me a barrel that would represent my life experiences. That barrel was made of wood and the corrosive fragrance of love, faith and hope began to deteriorate the wood in order for God to replace the old with the new, changing my life from beaten and old to something that He could rejoice. As the pieces of my barrel were traded for gold that my master provided, the barrel could only hold so much and began to fill to the brim. When I asked God to show me the end of my faith nearly a year ago, He set out to do so... He wanted my barrel to fill to the brim so that it could be replaced when I knew it's limits.
When my life experiences were made more perfect before God (Each experience being harder than the last, starting w/ nearly dying) and I had no room for faith to maintain those experiences, I began to break down and my barrel was poured out in mourning before God for His glory. I was left with all of my experiences because I could not immediately give the barrel to God. All of a sudden I was proud of the things that I had accomplished, the barrel I had made and suffered tirelessly over and I took it out of God's hands. Almost immediately I was afraid because everything in my life was too much for me to bear but it was the only thing I had and I kept it from God even though it was easily too much for me to handle on my own. I know that that barrel was so much larger than me that the only reason it didn't crush me is because God was holding the majority of the weight even when I thought I had taken it from Him.
The other night I was able to give my barrel to God so that He could make it so much larger to maintain all that He has to show me and work in me until I find the limit of that container. Things are better than they were before now and I can easily hear God for the things that I need and desire. Thank you Lord.
so now you should read the poem.
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The barrel is built with time and care;
Time and time again,
Amended for more to bear.
Sweet fragrance fills the emptiness within,
Fullness in every drop,
The barrel’s decay will soon begin.
Broken pieces replaced with silver and gold,
Stronger and stronger,
Repaired to cover the old.
Time passes and even a barrel so strong can only hold so
much,
The barrel must be replaced before long.
Poured out before its Master the barrel must be,
Vapors rejoicing in the wind,
All is given for a great fee.
The Master’s intent is misunderstood
The barrel is empty,
The same barrel once made of wood.
The golden barrel is all that remains
With a faint smell
Of the fragrance that maintains.
The weight of the gold is too much to bear
All hope is lost,
Nothing is left, but a barrel so bare.
The barrel is emptied but never returned,
The tears of the Master never cease to yearn.
The guilty are the innocent,
Bound to their crime,
By fear and discontent.
But all is well because the lost are found,
The barrel is made offering,
And the Master is no longer bound.
The task remaining became simple,
The barrel was too small,
It was only a golden thimble.
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